Archive for March, 2004

Marriage Humour

March 29, 2004

Marriage Humour
==========

1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after
marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

2. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would go thru hell for her. They got married – and now he is going thru
hell.

3. A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds : “Wife wanted “. Next day, he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : “You can have
mine.”

4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,you can be sure of one
thing: either the car is new or the wife.

5. It’s easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car
with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can
be sure he is married.

6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, “If you
don’t promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife.”
The poor man wrote back, ” I am afraid I can’t keep my promise but I hope
you will keep yours.”

7. What’s the matter, you look depressed.” “I’m having trouble with my
wife.” “What happened?” “She said she wasn’t going to speak to me for 30
days.” “But that ought to make you happy.” “It did, but today is the last
day.”

WOMAN
When she is 18 – She is a football, 22 men going after her.
When she is 28 – She is a hockey ball, 8 men going after her.
When  she is 38 – She is a golf ball, 1 man hitting on her.
When she is 48 – she is a pingpong ball, 2 men pushing to each other.

MAN
At 20 – A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little to give.
At 30 – He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious.
At 40 – He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy.
At 50 – He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once in a year.
At 60 – He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and cheap.

Posted in Joke | No Comments »

First Impression Counts (Job Interview)

March 27, 2004

First Impression Counts
Source: THE SUN – Thursday , February 19,2004.
Date published : 9.3.2004

Making an impact with another person, especially in the business world is
vital, writes Ranjit Singh Malhi

In today’s increasingly competitive business world, merely being
knowledgeable about your area of expertise is often inadequate to guarantee
success.

How others perceive you, that is, quality in perception can often determine
whether a business deal is won or lost; a career is made or destroyed; and
a promotion gained or denied.

In this regard, making a positive first impression is of great importance.
As aptly stated by Janet G. Elsea, “You never get a second chance to make a
good first impression.” Indeed, the first impression is often a lasting
one.

People will form an impression of you based on the way you think, dress,
speak and interact with them in the crucial first four minutes. Personal
appearance, grooming, body language, tone of voice, choice of words and
movement play a critical role in making a positive first impression.

Research shows that when meeting someone for the first time, how you say
something and what you look like when you say it are much more important
that the actual words spoken.

10 TIPS FOR MAKING A POSITIVE FIRST IMPRESSION

1. DEVELOP A POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE
To present yourself well to others, you must first develop a positive
self-image. Self-image is essentially your mental picture of who you are.
It should reflect self-confidence. Accept compliments with a “thank you”
and a smile. Love yourself and accept gracefully what you cannot change.
Also, visualise success in your career.

2.BE WELL-DRESSED
Ensure your clothes are well-fitting, clean and freshly pressed. Shoes
should be clean, polished and free of scuff. Ensure the colour of your
shoes and your socks matches the colour of your trousers.

For ladies, wear a well-cut dress in a good fabric, worn with a blazer or
well-fitting classic coordinates. Avoid slit skirts and plunging necklines.
Jewellery worn should be simple and elegant. Limit rings to one per hand.
Avoid extremely high-heeled shoes.

3. BE WELL-GROOMED
Ensure your hair is clean and free of dandruff; ears and finger nails are
clean; and breath is fresh. Perfume worn must be of good quality with light
fragrance. Women should avoid excessive makeup.

4. BE PUNCTUAL
Always be a few minutes early for appointments. If you are unavoidably
delayed, call and inform the other party before your appointment.

5. EXECUTE FIRM HANDSHAKE THAT GRABS RESPECT
When introducing yourself or being introduced to someone, give the other
person a firm handshake. Shake with the full arm, keeping the wrist and
elbow firm. Two pumps are enough.

6.MAKE YOUR FIRST FEW WORDS COUNT
An effective way of starting any interaction is to send a “thanks” message
that includes the person’s name. Remember, the sweetest thing to a person
is his or her name. Examples of “thanks” message are: “Thank you for taking
the time to meet with me this afternoon, Mr Bhaskaran” or “It is a pleasure
to finally meet you in person, Datuk Yahya.”

7. USE APPROPRIATE LANGUAGE
Also express appropriate facial expressions. Avoid using slang and words
such as “yeah” and “you guys”. Never curse! Be polite and tactful. Never
forget to say “please” and “thank you”. Use simple, familiar and precise
words. Smile in a friendly fashion. Maintain eye contact when speaking and
listening. Nod occasionally to show interest or acceptance.

8. BE A GOOD LISTENER
Don’t interrupt. It is rude to stop someone in the middle of a discourse.
Ask relevant questions to seek clarification. Focus on what is being said,
not on how it is being delivered.

9. SPEAK AUDIBLY AND CLEARLY
Ensure your voice is audible. Spend more time talking quickly than slowly,
especially if you are making a speech or presentation. Research shows that
faster speakers are regarded as more intelligent and more impressive than
slower speakers. Pronounce words correctly. Avoid verbal clutter such as
“um” and “ah”.

10. MAINTAIN A POWERFUL POSTURE
Stand up straight and keep your shoulders relaxed. Keep your head and chin
up with arms at your side. Never stand up with hands on your hips. When
sitting, keep your back straight and don’t slouch. Cross legs at ankles and
lean forward slightly. Don’t sit with knees spread or crossed.

Posted in Career | No Comments »

Do you know?

March 11, 2004

Read on and expand your general knowledge…..

*Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They hide you. The spray
blocks the mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there.
*No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
*Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least
6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from
the flush.
*It’s physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
*Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
*Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
*Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in
the morning.
*The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
*The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute
for blood plasma.
*The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
*Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
*The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
*Pearls melt in vinegar.
*The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro,Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
*It is possible to lead a cow upstairs…but not downstairs.
*A duck’s quack doesn’t echo and no one knows why.
*Turtles can breathe through their butts.
*On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens
every year.
*Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.
*Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
*The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch
every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into
account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
*A snail can sleep for three years.
*No word in the English language rhymes with “MONTH.”
*Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose
and ears never stop growing! . SCARY! !!
*All polar bears are left handed.
*A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
*Almost everyone who reads this email will try to lick their elbow.

PS… So, did you try to lick your elbow???? or fold a paper
in seven halves? :-D

Posted in Misc | No Comments »